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‘I met my wife on the rebound, but I still love my ex more’

Dear Bunmi,

I got married two years ago when I hadn’t completely fallen out of love with my ex-girlfriend. I met my wife on the rebound, after my ex left me for another man.

But the relationship didn’t work out, and she’s started e-mailing me. My wife is kind, gentle and good company but I now realize that my ex is the love of my life. My marriage is currently childless. What should I do?

Smart, by e-mail

Dear Smart,

Before you do anything rash like throwing away your marriage, stop and think about your real feelings for your ex. It’s easy to look back at a past relationship with rose-tinted glasses, but she was the one who chose to break the wedding vows and must have had her reasons, which may well still exist.

I would try to make your marriage work if I were you. Don’t rush back to your ex without being sure she’s not also settling for you on the rebound. What happens if what she considers a better option shows up – again?

(Vanguard)

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